See also Vancouver Sun June 29 2005

See also Girlfriends Magazine, January, 2004

Why Thee Wed, The National Film Board of Canada, 2005 documentary

March 29, 2004, Maclean's Magazine (Canada)
Mrs. and Mrs. in a Gay Mecca
B.C. is also the site of fierce opposition to any redefinition of marriage

KEN MACQUEEN

JANE EATON HAMILTON, a writer and photographer, and her wife, Joy Masuhara, a family doctor, are at the dining room table of their Vancouver home, flipping through their wedding album, sharing memories the way couples do; carrying each other's thoughts across the threshold to completion, the way couples do. It was on June 10 that Ontario changed the law to allow same-sex marriage, in response to a court challenge. Hamilton and Masuhara, involved in a similar legal challenge in B.C., caught a red-eye flight to Toronto for a courthouse marriage later that month -- among the first same-sex couples in Canada to do so.

The brides were radiant in their black tuxes; when you've been a couple for 10 years, why wear white? The vows were as basic as they get, but a phrase such as "I take you to be my lawful wedded wife" carries its own power. "None of us thought this was something we'd see in our lifetime," says Hamilton. She is 49 and Masuhara is 46 -- old enough to remember the days before 1969 when homosexuality was illegal in Canada. "You get blown away knowing this is real," Masuhara says. Adds Hamilton: "It still hits me. You want to see the actual certificate because you can't believe it's possible." Back in Vancouver, the couple staged a reception in a friend's garden last August. Now that was a gay old time.

BY THE END of last year, 733 same-sex marriages were performed in B.C. Almost two-thirds were couples from elsewhere in Canada, the U.S. or other countries. But if urban B.C. is a new mecca for gay weddings, the province is also the site of fierce opposition to changing the definition of marriage.
The issue has riven the Anglican Church since Michael Ingham, bishop of the Vancouver regional diocese of New Westminster, first allowed the blessing of same-sex unions in June 2002. Vancouver's Catholic archdiocese cancelled some ties last fall with the Vancouver City Savings Credit Union after the financial institution started an advertising campaign celebrating the partnerships of its gay and lesbian clients.

Nowhere are the values of the traditional family more zealously guarded than in the province's Fraser Valley Bible belt -- a southern B.C. region of verdant farms, burgeoning suburbs, conservative politics and orthodox religious views. "If we allow gay marriages now, is legal rape next?" asked the headline of a letter to the editor published by the Abbotsford Times, typical of the fiery debate the issue has engendered.

A more measured and effective defence of traditional marriage is mounted from the Canadian headquarters of Focus on the Family, located in the valley suburb of Langley. Derek Rogusky, a former provincial Liberal operative in Alberta, is vice-president of family policy for the charitable organization, which champions a Bible-based view of the family. It will spend about $750,000 this spring on a public awareness campaign promoting traditional marriage, and thousands more on other initiatives to support family values. "The one benefit is that this controversy has allowed us to talk about the important role that marriage has in society," says Rogusky.

Asked what is the greatest threat to marriage today, he blames no-fault divorce and the legal protections of common-law relationships. "We've devalued the role that marriage plays in society," he says. "As a result, we're seeing things like same-sex marriage. It's just the latest and the most controversial in a long line of situations that deconstruct marriage."

Focus on the Family will reluctantly intervene this fall in the Supreme Court reference case. Rogusky, a married father of two young sons, says the case is not a rights issue but a social policy question that should be decided by politicians -- or a national referendum -- rather than by a conclave of non-elected judges. "This is an experiment that we would want to be very careful about until we have pretty good evidence that two moms can somehow make a dad," he says, "because the evidence right now says that they can't."
Hamilton and Masuhara have both been married before. To men. Hamilton was 19, way too young for such a commitment, she says. She wed an American boy she met while travelling in Europe. It lasted two years. Subsequent relationships produced two daughters: Sarah, now 26, and Meghann, now 22. Masuhara wed at 28. It lasted seven years. "I think I had inklings about my sexuality, but nothing really strong or I was very good at suppressing it for a very long time." She met Hamilton through her ex-husband, also a writer. "He was very understanding and supported me as I was trying to figure out who I was," says Masuhara. "It was painful splitting up. It was scary jumping off the cliff. Scary-exciting."

Masuhara adopted Hamilton's daughters in 1997, but still the couple wanted the validation of marriage. They're among eight gay and lesbian couples to successfully challenge the marriage laws in B.C. They're also intervenors in the federal government reference on the same-sex marriage issue, before the Supreme Court of Canada this October (page 33). "My mothers want to be married and I don't think there's any reason why they shouldn't," Meghann wrote in a court affidavit. Her sister Sarah asked the court: "How can marriage be sacred when it doesn't even sanctify my own family?"

British Columbia -- prodded by the Ontario precedent and its own appeals court ruling -- became the second province to legalize same-sex marriage, last July 8 (Quebec became the third last week). Hamilton and Masuhara are among several litigants from that case to offer their services as witnesses to gays and lesbians who come from out of province to marry in B.C. Hamilton has also photographed weddings, becoming part of the mini business boom that's sprung up to cater to same-sex weddings and receptions.

Most of the weddings have been conventional, if emotional, affairs. Well, there was one with a drag show at the reception. Oh, and a Halloween wedding where one of the brides dressed as a witch. "But fair enough," says Hamilton, "that could happen in heterosexual life at a Halloween wedding." Then, of course, there was their own reception. "We did the most kinky one that we've seen," says Hamilton. "So far," says Masuhara.

The day same-sex marriage was legalized in B.C., Angus Praught, president of Gayvan.com Travel Marketing, was bombarded with telephone queries. By the next day, his business sense, and a need for sanity, caused him to post an extensive guide to B.C. weddings on his company Web site. Praught specializes in marketing Vancouver to the international gay traveller -- a demographic that spends an estimated US$55 billion annually in North America, he says. It's hard to gauge the economic impact that same-sex marriage has had on the province, but he says there is no doubt it has boosted B.C.'s cachet as a gay-friendly destination.

Both gay-owned and mainstream businesses have stepped up to offer services from honeymoon hotel packages to photography to flowers. Wedding planners, such as Victoria-based Gay or Lesbian Weddings.com or Vancouver's Wedding Fairy, will plan and package the entire event. Praught, a gay man in the 18th year of a "committed relationship," says he and his partner have not seriously considered marriage themselves. "Having the choice there and available is the main thing -- whether you do it or not."

THE PLAN for the Hamilton-Masuhara reception was to restate their vows and to celebrate their union with friends and family. "We wanted elegance, we wanted class. We wanted camp," says Hamilton. They wanted men in dresses. She points to a photo of the wedding party -- including author and CBC gadabout Bill Richardson -- resplendent in matching crinolines. "We ended up with 17 people in our wedding party," says Masuhara, "six drag maids, two best women, and our daughters gave us away." The couple wore tuxes, five guests wore wedding gowns. Some family showed up, says Masuhara. "Some boycotted," says Hamilton, "which is sad. I think it was very touching and moving. They might have had their views altered if they'd made the attempt."
They're still flipping through the album when they're brought up short by the same question asked the vice-president of Focus on the Family: what is the biggest threat to marriage today?

They discuss divorce rates for a moment and the pressures of everyday life. Then they stop, not buying the question. "Is there a threat to marriage?" asks Masuhara. "I don't actually think it's under threat," says her wife. "I think it's proven itself to be quite enduring." And they smile, the way some couples do.

Globe and Mail newspaper (Canada), May 2 2003

Photo: John Lehmann/The Globe and Mail
Family doctor Joy Masuhara, left, and her partner, writer and poet Jane Eaton Hamilton, embrace in Vancouver yesterday after the B.C. Court of Appeal ruled against a ban on same-sex marriages.

"Day of celebration: One Vancouver lesbian couple rejoices as an appeal ruling directs governments to change existing wedlock laws

By ROBERT MATAS
Globe and Mail newspaper May 3/2003

Vancouver — Family doctor Joy Masuhara and critically acclaimed writer and poet Jane Eaton Hamilton were overjoyed by a B.C. court's decision yesterday that moved them one step closer to being allowed to marry.

Ms. Hamilton and Dr. Masuhara are one of eight gay and lesbian couples who challenged the law in British Columbia. The couple had not previously lobbied for changes in the marriage law or been activists pushing for changes, but they wanted to join the court action.

"It was personal for us, we just want to get married," Ms. Hamilton said.
After living together for 10 years, they say that a marriage licence will not change how they feel about each other.

"It's been the most fantastic thing," Dr. Masuhara said.

"We just found the right person," Ms. Hamilton agreed.

But they anticipate they will be more widely accepted wherever they go once they are married, Ms. Hamilton said yesterday after the B.C. Court of Appeal overturned a lower court decision banning same-sex marriages.
"We've both been married before," said Dr. Masuhara, who specializes in mental health. "We know it does make a difference. ... Everyone knows what marriage is."
Ms. Hamilton, 49, was 19 when she married in a big formal church wedding in Ontario. The marriage ended shortly after Ms. Hamilton's second daughter was born.

Ms. Hamilton said she feels she was irresponsible to marry at such a young age. But, she said, now that she is responsible, she has not been allowed to marry the person she loves.
"

It's 30 years later," she said. "I'm almost 50 years old and I still do not have the right to get married, even though it now makes sense to get married, even though it is a mature, thoughtful decision."

She said their aspirations as a couple are the same as those of any heterosexual couple. "We just want to live our lives and strive for all the same things as others."

The couple said they are also pleased that the court recognized the equality of heterosexual and homosexual relationships.

"Hopefully, having equality will give the message to society that this is okay, that this is not something wrong, deviant, scary or evil. These are just loving relationships, with all their flaws and imperfections, trials and tribulations that any other relationship has," Dr. Masuhara said.

The couple and Ms. Hamilton's two daughters have been living as a family for five years.

Dr. Masuhara, 45, adopted the daughters in 1998, after the law was changed to allow gay and lesbian couples to adopt children.

"None of us thought it was going to change anything," Dr. Masuhara said.

"But it did have a huge impact, not just on ourselves, but on our extended families. In eyes of my extended family, we became more legitimate. These were now my daughters, these were now my parent's grandchildren."

The couple are leaving for Mexico this weekend on a holiday to celebrate their 10th anniversary.

Ms. Hamilton said they may take a copy of the court decision with them because the resort offers a free anniversary package that includes a private gazebo on the beach and champagne. However, couples have to show their marriage licences to qualify for the promotion.

"Maybe they will accept the ruling," Ms. Hamilton said.

The lack of a marriage licence — yet — won't keep them from celebrating, she said.

"The ruling is the best anniversary gift that we could have," she said. 'We just want to get married.'",